At the very start of this program, you set a goal for what you want to achieve. In both our professional and personal lives, we often set goals with a strong desire to achieve them. This drive is often shaped by social pressures or the need for approval. However, research shows that goals driven by external factors rarely sustain our motivation in the long run. According to a study by Ryan and Deci (2000), when we engage in activities for the sheer joy they bring—what's known as intrinsic motivation—we unlock greater curiosity, deeper learning, and lasting engagement. On the other hand, when our goals are fueled by external rewards or pressures, maintaining long-term interest and effort becomes much more challenging.

When goals are not aligned with our own personal values, but rather with the expectations of others, it can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and exhaustion. For psychological flexibility, it’s crucial to pursue a lifestyle that aligns with your values rather than one dictated by external expectations. It's important to pause and reflect on your goals—are they genuinely meaningful to you and in line with your own values, or are they primarily aimed at pleasing others?

Separating personal and professional goals can be helpful in this process. Unlike traditional goal-setting methods that emphasize achievement and outcomes, aligning your goals and actions with your deeply held values is more beneficial for fostering psychological flexibility and long-term satisfaction.

Identifying Your Values

So, what are these values? Identifying your own values can be challenging, especially if they are not immediately clear. However, taking the time to reflect on what is truly meaningful to you is essential, as values are the foundation of a fulfilling and prosperous life.

In your professional life, consider what you genuinely value in your career. These values might include creativity, helping others, social justice, innovation, integrity, or personal growth. By identifying these values, you can set professional goals that not only aim for external success, like promotions or project completions, but also ensure that your work remains fulfilling and aligned with your core principles.

Although personal and professional values are separate, they often overlap. People generally strive for consistency in their actions and decisions, so the values that guide you in your personal life, such as honesty, respect, or compassion, are likely to influence how you approach your work and interact with colleagues, clients, and stakeholders. When your personal and professional values align, it creates a sense of coherence and integrity, which is beneficial for your well-being.

To start, think about what is most important to you by choosing one of the exercises below. Previous participants in the program have found that reflecting on their own values may not be easy but is ultimately important and rewarding and also helps them think about their goals more in-depth.

Exercises: Choose between two options

You can start to reflect on your values by thinking about someone you know or do not know personally, but whose life story you respect or admire. Take a moment to think about that person. What personal qualities do they have? What are the things about them and their personality that really touch you, for instance, their courage, authenticity or compassion.

These may be qualities that we don’t think about or cherish every day. When you think about the things you appreciate about that person, they may be the very things you want in your own life.

This exercise will help you to clarify what brings meaning to life and what is important to you and thus helps you to start thinking about your own values. Choose eight pictures, for example, from your phone's photo folder, your camera, the internet, magazines or postcards of things that bring meaning to your life.

Once you've chosen your final selection, save them for yourself, label them and write down your reflections. What do the pictures you have chosen represent for you? Why are they important to you? What kind of reflections did the exercise provoke?